The Big 4th Birthday

So, my not so young anymore boy is 4 today. Some may say there is plenty of time left; but you see; he informed that next year when he turns five, "I will be growd up." Oh I see-so as soon as you have your fifth birthday you are an adult, or so it is in the mind of a new four year old.

Now I have only known my four year old for almost two years. So there is still two years that I need to catch up on.

I look back at the day he came and just have wonder what happened to that shy, scared, timid baby that Lana brought to my house that night. So much has changed since then. First and foremost-the physical reminders of his beating are gone; no more burises, scratches or abrasions. And I have to wonder how much of the mental memories are there in his mind as well. He does not speak about it, he rarely speaks about his birth parents. Never her, ocassionally him, and then it is just the simple phrase that he is in jail. I asked him the other day who his mommy was and he said, "Jennifer." Kind of like duhhh....don't YOU know. He did want the picture of her. He told me no and crumpled it up. I dug it out of the trash can because I know one day he will want to see it. Not that a picture of a woman all strung out on crack and whatever prescription drugs she can get to is pretty; but becase he will want answers.

Anyways, it is HIS birthday, so enough about them. I am so amazed at how far he has come in the past two years. He only spoke three words when he came here-mammy, dink, and ouch. He was so timid and always afraid. You could not even speak his name with out him freezing becasue he thought another beating was coming. He would not vocalize anything to adults yet he would babble to the other kids if he thought no one was listening. He was just a loner I might say if I had to put a word to it. But slowly, I am not sure when, he began to change right before my eyes. A little speech therapy, some preschool with a wonderful teacher that he thinks hung the moon, guidance, gentleness and alot of love and attention and he is a whole nother child. You would not believe the difference in him; you wouldn't recognize the pictures of him taken that night when I met him.

Now he is Tomas. He is four years old and he is in Ms. Mehringer's preschool class at the elementary school. He is the teacher's pet, Mommy's boy, Daddy's fishing buddy and Papa's little helper at the workshop. He has no fears--despite the fake dinosaur at T-Rex inside Disney Town. He can ride his bike like there is no tomorrow, run the entire 3 miles at the RiverWalk, uses power tools, catches fish, counts to 15, pushes the number three button in the elevator at the doctor's office, has a fiecre game of bowling on the Wii, can make a mean S'mores when we sit around the fire pit and most of all knows what true love is. He is a boy who has learned about death far too early when he lost two cousins in the same month. He knows about God and Jesus and what will happen when you die; and he is not scared of it. He can love and hug and kiss your ear til it rings (and sometimes hurts.) He loves monkeys and his dog, Muscles. He is no longer afraid. He is no longer the child who will not make eye contact with you. He is no longer the child who freezes when an adult walks into a room. He is Tomas Samuel Alan Gilmore and he is four years old today.

Happy Birthday Tomas!!!!