Decisions

This is hard. I have the chance of a lifetime RIGHT NOW to go to college. Well, the chance is now, classes are actually this fall. I can go right here in town full time to get my LPN. I have always wanted to be in the nursing field (except when I talked myself out of it b/c I wanted to adopt a zillion kids! LOL) and actually had my foot testing the water as a CNA. So now that we have adopted; ahem.... five kids;) I think I want to do it. But my dilemma; leaving my kids!

Here's how it breaks down. I have a donor to help with expenses thru school. That is way awesome! I have always tried to be a giver and not much of a taker; but I must admit, I think I will feel some what guilty for accepting this help-not good. Like I said, I can do it here Jasper in one year and immediately land a job here in town. The down side, well the down side is currently in his bedroom b/c he couldn't play quietly, at the table re-doing her homework, asking to change her clothes again, and two are playing cars on the kitchen floor. The bigger three will be in school full time themselves and Mom will keep the Littles when I am there. I guess everything will be ok without me here to control it. LOL I know... issues! Our financial ease is slowly dwindling with the last three kiddos. Don't get me wrong, I would beg, steal and lie for my kids. But would rather go about providing in a way that can be an example.

And then I have to look at the possibilities of work schedules. Probably weekends, maybe nights, too. And the holidays and possibility of 12 hour shifts. All of which I am NOT crazy about.
But, it's gnawing at me; saying, "Take this chance, you passed it up once. Don't do again."
So you Mommas out there weigh in for me please!