Lies and Butterflies

I need to stay positive and realize that no matter what happens, this is NOT the end of the world.

That's what I keep telling myself, but the mom in me comes out and shows it's ugly face and reality sets in, again.

I'm stressed, stressed to the max! I can't let the kids know, they may feel guilty; and we can't have that. They already have enough that they worry about because of the previous chapters in their life.

I'm stressed, mad, sad, feel used, and like me or my kids aren't worthy of the truth.

Thanks to DCS and it's overhaul... ahem; more specifically Mitch Daniels and James Payne.

I'm not going to make this a political post, that's not what it's about. It's about my kids, all kids, to get what they deserve and what they are promised.

You see some agencies will say one thing because it's workers are too scared, lazy or vindictive to tell the truth. If they tell the truth they may have to do more work. And we can't have that. Because ya know; the case worker is tired. She has two kids and doesn't know how she can manage, now. Really? Two kids, wow! Don't break your back there honey.

That's just it; total lack of consideration! I'm going to sit here and complain about TWO kids when you have five! And I won't do all my work to help you. Instead, I will ask you to do this and that because I can. I have the control and I like that.

Here's the deal. My boys were promised certain benefits upon adoption. They were promised medical insurance, attorney fees and an adoption assistance. Adoption assistance is where they (state or federal programs) pay a portion of living expenses to help with the care of the child. Specifically hard to place children or children who came from poverty at the time of removal from their bio parents. My boys are considered hard to place for a number of reasons. One, they are a sibling group. Two, the oldest child is over the age of five. Three, the youngest is over the age of two. Four, One has behavior issues and may/may not have ADD/ADHD. It has yet to be determined (mainly b/c I want to address all of the behavior issues at home before we bring meds into the equation.) And lastly, one is receiving therapy/counseling services for emotional issues do to his situation. They also qualify becase they come from a poverty stricken, single parent home.

Now I am NOT asking for a fortune. I simply want them to fully consider everything we have on our plate and come up with a fair amount. I want them to keep in mind that I have taken in five children and don't get help with all of them as some people may believe. I want them to consider the fact that with five children I can drive a regular car, live a small apartment, and I spend a minimum of 175 dollars at the grocery store each week. Please keep in mind school books, lunches, any extra curricular activities (this is not necessary, but helps tremendously in deterring negative behavior and is a great outlet for built up energy and constructive way to get rid of aggression.) What about school clothes and shoes? Do they have any idea of what it takes to clothe five kids?

I can't afford to take in every orphan off the streets. Sure, it would be nice to do that! I will help anyone I have the means to. I love these kids and they will not go anywhere else; but I am really sure they don't like the taste of dog food. And that is what they will be eating if we can't get the benefits they were promised. Heck I could barely get them to eat the left over meatloaf and mashed potatoes we had for dinner last night! LOL

So I have a meeting in two hours with these "people" about what can be done. Little do they know; I have done my research and know what they can do, they just don't want to do for fear of loosing a large bonus for this area if they basically low ball adoptive parents. And my atty really kicks @$$ in all areas. We didn't hire him in Alecia's adoption battle (yes there really was battle in court) because we drew his name from a hat. We had seen him in action and I knew he was the best in the county.

Wish me luck, keep me in your prayers and be ready to celebrate when I get back. Hopefully.