Eeek, Snakes!

Yeah something closely resembling this reptile was found in the back yard. BY THE KIDS! Talk about a good fright.
They were outside playing this morning (before the heat melted them into puddles of nothing but clothes and eye balls) and I was inside cleaning up breakfast. That's when it happened. Five kids running full speed towards the patio doors, screaming, "SNAAAAAAAKE!"
Evidently this little fella tried to find some refuge from the sun and snuggled up in the wood pile. The kids were taking the fire wood and making a "fort" around the patio (because kids just like to take stuff you have made into a nice, uniform pile and destroy it!) when Caleb bent down to get another piece of wood and met his new friend face to face. I was at the kitchen window that looks directly onto the backyard and seen it all happen.
Poor Peytan; he little feet wouldn't run fast enough.
I thought maybe it was just the hose and they freaked out for nothing, so I went to take a gander.
That was my mistake! The freakin thing was monstrous and looked mean! I almost threw up in my mouth.
I took off running (in my flip flops) towards the house.
Bart's at work and I can't get a hold of any type of rodent patrol people. NICE.
Now my kids are secluded to the house, ALL! DAY! LONG!
Thanks Mr. Black Snake.
When they get real rowdy I always remind them they can still go outside and play. It's worked so far.